Hi i have been a stay at home mom since my 3 year old was born, but now my 17 month old son seems to not want me or love me. Even the same morning, she wanted to be with me and when she woke up from her nap, she did not want me around. I had him when I was 38 yrs old and have been a hands on mum all his life. Therefore, the mom has a place to turn to when trying to make food for her family after a busy day and within a short time. She dribbled a lot of it out at first and he said she fussed a little a couple of times, but she does good now. Toddler Rejecting Mom After New Baby. wont she not even a day look out for me. because everytime she turns away from me or will not smile at me i feel like my heart just breaks tears often threaten to spill. Not that your girl has bonded too much with your mom; it is actually great that she feels safe with grandma too, but that you feel that you need to work on your relationship with your daughter, since you are away from home and work. Ive been home with her from the beginning. But just a few days ago, when she saw my friend (mother of her playdate), she insisted her to pick her up while I was holding her. Its got to a point where I feel like everything is against me. Mom's Question: When daddy is the bored or tired of this the he conveniently disappears and I take over. We should all hold our heads up with pride at what AWESOME mothers and fathers we are, how dearly we love our children. Praise your wife when she manages to be cool about it it isnt easy! She does not have any memories of you crying and even if she did, she wouldnt hate you for it. Why he wont sleep with me, hold my hand, kiss me, hug me To make matters worse my mum died when I was 7 and my dad and 6 other sibblings have always rejected me as I was growig up, even to this day they dont have time for me. and youre doing the right thing. It is so important that you separate this! Somewhere around this age, babies start realizing that they are a separate person from their mom. In my observation some babies who dont do this have mothers who dont hold them a lot and are less responsive but not always. Try Bottle Feeding a Drowsy Baby. Im a stay at home mom and spend pretty much all my time with her. She adores me but her daddy not so much. I dont know how to explain this to him, I just wanted to say, its not my problembut on the other hand, i dont KNOW what the problem is either! it felt so good reading all the posts and knowing that out there, there were so many mums who felt the same as I did. Play lots of games with your daughter. Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. My son has done this to me ever since he was about 4 months old. She is also my miracle child since I have a problem to conceive. My mom used to take care of her during the afternoon so I could study. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. Adjustment takes time. Recently, its really been getting to me. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? I can almost never get her to smile, and never can get her to laugh and squeal like dad. It broke my heart. I breastfed for the first four months, and we definitely bonded. I have an 8 month old daughter. Avoid power struggles around cuddling at all costs! 6 wk old son doesn't like me (his mother) by: Anonymous. So he cant do whatever he wants when Im home. Try the sleep and switch. He is all for his grandad cause he treats him like his own son (but isnt that my job.) She wants to be with anyone else in the house except me. Never has. thank you to anonymous who wrote most recently saying that it has gotten better. Please help! In addition, I really think you should start reading books about adoption if you havent already. Sigh. Pump or hand express your milk. My partner thinks I m silly and tells me not to say things like she does not want me but its true, he never worries cause she wants him all the time. Fight for your baby. (My step-sons mom also went crazy during their separation. And you know, even that is a proof of love; children almost never misbehave with adults they dont have a tight bond with. I was always there for him. I have a 20-month daughter. But from what you write, it sounds like this is a fairly new thing? She preferred me up until recently. Paula, Stay At Home Mom Rejected By Baby Please help me out of this. And as being the preferred caretaker at the moment, your mom can help you a lot by firmly handing over your daughter to you at certain points. I am searching high and low for a place away from her. When you feel rejected, she will sense your reactions and you end up in vicious circle of guilt, sadness, rejection, and more sadness and guilt. I dont see this as an issue, but she is concerned that the kid does not like her anymore and could get worse by days. lying down or the underarm hold). Can a baby NOT like their mom? Im a 26 yr old dad. Our song hs never stoppd being sung even my hsband ws around. Fertility benefits increase loyalty, productivity, and fulfillment. I just want to know what I am doing wrong, so I can change it. Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. Dont have a help in the house because my mil doesnt let me keep one. I love my child more than anything in the world and I hope that she knows it. i dont know why he is acting like this .Does he hate me or doesnt feel secure with me ? But it can take some time to start enjoying the ride ;-) its my first child n i love her lots cos it took long for me to have her . should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? If we dont see them for a couple of weeks, I feel the bond coming back but we cant stay away for ever & my girlfriend doesnt understand what Im going through please help cause it really hurts & gets me down. I play with, love and nurture my 17 month old boy but he doesnt seem to care about me. I couldnt find any info about it happening to any other mothers at the time, I bf and did everything for her, perfect housewife and mother but she still was so hurtful to me. bottomline she just wanted my husband.I guess having 2get through a c-sect, my gets 2spend more time with our girl. This will help you to feel connected with your baby. It hurts. Its just that when my husband and i decided to start trying for another baby i quickly had changed my mind and decided i wasnt ready yet and that i was content with it just being me, my husband, and our first son, but it was too late and when i decided to not try anymore i already conceived. However, before it got better I came to a sort of terms with it more or less, though I had bouts of severe depression about it from time to time. I know shes only 6 months but shes not loving at all towards me..If i try to hug her and cuddle she pushes and screams and kicks, she would rather go to anyone but me.i treat her like an angel and I dont understand why she doesnt seem to love me.. Shes a really happy smiley baby. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. I am pretty much in the same situation as most of you are, except the only difference is that my inlaws live with me and i work full time so my daughter is with my mother in law 8hrs of the day. I hope its just a phase. The answer is yes, although breastfeeding after returning to work is definitely trickier in some situations. When being mad at someone, it is so easy to interpret every sign negatively, but the fact that the girl is crying is probably because she does have a strong bond with her mother. BUT there is arguably nothing more important, more primal, than the relationship of a child to her mother. But the emotional part of me feels devastated. I have been feeling so down recently to see that he doesnt seem to recognise me and prefer my mother in law more than me. If a baby won't take a bottle, and is becoming anxious even at the sight of one, it may help to disguise it in some way. I have a 9-month-old baby, who doesnt seem to want me anymore. Consider your overall financial picture. That is actually a very sensitive age when separation and stranger anxiety set is. My relationship with my son isnt the same anymore. If she is with me then she walks a way the moment she hears or sees her grandma. Try carrying your baby's photo with you at your workplace. When he's with me. for example, is perfect for a baby with separation anxiety. Within less than a year, she will be crawling all over the place and you will have to look for her when she is out discovering the world. Maybe worth trying for you too? Im starting to become resentful of my husband (who is not taking me seriously at all) and even worse my son xx. They need physical closeness, frequent eye contact, reassurance, tenderness and loveand it must be consistent and from the same personpreferably from the mother, who also feeds the baby. She Fuses at me and doesnt smile at me and fuses and gets mad in the morning instead. I nursed him up until a month ago. Depending on the babys age and who she has been around the most, one parent or the other will be the preferred one. I have come on to this site to read these postings a couple times over the past couple months and while I am relieved to see that I am not the only one, I want to know why this is happening? My 20 month old is very particular to the fact that he doesnt need me! Now, my son doesnt seem to even want me in the room with him any more. I am a dad in the same boat. i know i need to love her now but do feel so sad when she pushes away from me. Can I give you a challenge? thanks all for listening to me & i will take every reply seriously. Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! I thought my son did this because of his cesarean and my dh being the one to help. We have tried EVERYTHING to get this baby to take a bottle. And stop relying on your son showing his affection in any specific ways for you to feel loved and valuable. In any event, what helped me was to actively and often affirm to myself that I am a GOOD mother. When I go to pick her up from day care, she wont even respond when she sees me. On the Internet Viral Reddit Baby Family. Is soo upseting bcuz this just sterted like a week ago befor it seemed that i was his everyhing he lovedd to be with me! So who knows, within a month, you might be carrying a whining little daughter all day long. Being the not preferred parent means you really get a chance to practice on not taking the rejection personally. So everything stabilized for me. This is apparently common and it is only frustrating when some outsiders try to make you feel bad about it (they usually have no kids or they are judgmental). but, really, we'll be alright. Take her outside! Because I was in a very bad place myself over this issue, I understand your pain and encourage you in the strongest terms to get support for yourself. Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. Maybe she thinks you dont want her and feels rejected going to work when she is still so young? Not a good feeling. Pace yourself, with paced feeding. (if your daughter will allow; a lot of children do, at least some times.). My Postpartum Depression Made Me Reject My Baby. I am in the same boat. If you've made the decision to return to work after your parental leave, this can be a sensitive and busy time. I really dont know :-( hope it will change in future.. :-( A Big Hug goes to all those mummies and daddies who are in the same boat as me! Planning ahead can make the transition easier. I am really shattered. Just ask her to really try not to show her emotions to your daughter, but rather focus on having a good time with her when you are not around that will certainly build on their relationship for the coming years. I?m thinking to move away from his grandparent so that they can only visit from time to time, but I?m worried it will affect him. baby rejecting mom after going back to work. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. But unless one is emotionally stable, it can be almost impossible. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. Even for biological parents, bonding is something that happens over time. I cant seem to find this answer. By Alice Gibbs On 6/23/22 at 12:17 PM EDT. Babies and moms dont automatically bond; just like anyone else they need to spend time together. That doesnt mean that he doesnt love you. baby rejecting mom after going back to work Mine is something similar. My daughter just turned one. My boys are my life and i am so grateful that i am their mom! Other babies become extremely attached to that person any time she or he is around. Laura, youre not silly, youre human! But lately, she has just got more & more attached to daddy.and doesnt want me to hold her to sleep at night. May God help us all. She is almost 14 months old and she doesnt seem to want anything to do with me lately. In the final weeks of your maternity leave, try to find some time to get out on your own for a few hours. What you need to do is to take a step back and stop taking your daughters preferences as evidence that you have done everything wrong. I do the same, care, dress, cook, feed, bottle. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? The more you as her mom can help her both with attachment as a young toddler, but as a child growing more aware of her history, the emotions and questions it raises, the more you can help your daughter grow up as a happy, confident child. Adjusting to this new life will take time and you can't expect to nail it right out of the gate. But I really found some comfort when I found this thread and read about other parents similar experiences. He wont come to me when I hold out my arms, wont play with me on the mat (where we were having a ball only a few hours earlier) and pushes me away when I hold him or cuddle him. I am worried my baby will have emotional problems in the future ? I have watched them interact from a distance and she smiles, dances, and plays with him. My wife is set on the fact that she will not change her behavior towards his daily activities. Tomorrow I am going back to work full time after taking 4 months off to be with my son. But early nappers are often cranky during the hour that precedes bedtime the very hour that you arrive home from work. Near the end of your pregnancy, talk to your HR department or supervisor about your return to work plan. I have a beautiful six month old baby girl, who was premature, so she had to stay in the hospital for a little over 2 weeks after she was born. 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